Ryan and I were invited to a wedding of one of his French colleague’s and I feel so lucky that we had the honor of attending this wedding and that we had that experience during our expat adventure.
While there are a lot of similarities when comparing French weddings to American weddings, there are also some differences. First, French weddings start at the “Mairie” (town hall). France separates church and state, so a religious ceremony is not considered a legal marriage; it is legally required to have this civil ceremony to get married in France, and then this can be followed by a religious ceremony at a church or other location. Sometimes the ceremony at the mairie is only for family and maybe close friends, while other couples will invite all guests to this part of the wedding. The ceremony at the mairie also does not have to be on the same day as the religious ceremony, however, many weddings will have the civil ceremony directly followed by the ceremony at the church.
Ryan and I chose not to go to the ceremony at the mairie, but we attended the church ceremony. Typically French weddings do not have bridesmaids and groomsmen, however, they have between 2 and 4 witnesses. They are also not usually as formal or extravagant as a typical American wedding. At this wedding, the girl that carried the rings was wearing shorts and sandals (although more on the dressy side), and the mothers walked down the aisle carrying their purses. The programs were printed on regular paper and even had some typos that were drawn over. They were still pretty and I liked that they were simple…I don’t think people need to spend a ton of money on fancy invitations and programs etc that will just be thrown away! The ceremony last a little over an hour and included songs, prayer and vows. This couple also chose to do something different- they brought a small olive tree to symbolize their starting a new family and combing their 2 families, and several family members from each side brought dirt from their garden to put in the pot to symbolize how they were going to help nurture the marriage/combine families.
When the ceremony was over, the couple didn’t walk down the aisle. Instead, people lined up to walk down the aisle towards the couple and give them well wishes. Everyone then exited the church and threw lavender seeds on the couple. The couple took some photos with guests and then drove off in their decorated car to the next part of the wedding…the “vin d’honneur” (like the American cocktail hour).
We drove 20 minutes to the location of the vin d’honneur, which was a typical town party hall. Again, nothing fancy or extravagant. I believe that normally it is like an American cocktail hour where guests have some drinks and finger food while the couple takes wedding photos….however at this wedding nothing was served until the couple finished their photos which took almost an hour and a half! As soon as the food and wine came out, people went crazy and were going through drinks quickly.
While some guests may be invited to the vin d’honneur, not everyone is invited to the dinner that follows. This is usually reserved for family and close friends. From what I understand, it is a long dinner followed by cake and some dancing but they don’t usually have the tradition of the garter and bouquet toss like we do in the US. At this wedding, the dinner was supposed to start at 8, however, the food and drinks at the vin d’honneur didn’t start until 7:30 so when we left at 9:15 the dinner still hadn’t started! I thought this was very French, as they eat dinner later than we do and these dinners/celebrations can last a lot longer than ours!
The Pawlowski's Go To France 